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Poutine On the Orient Express An Irreverent Look At Travel von Strigberger, Marcel (eBook)

  • Erscheinungsdatum: 31.10.2017
  • Verlag: BookBaby
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Poutine On the Orient Express

A humourist lawyer? Not an oxymoron here. With Poutine on the Orient Express, Marcel Strigberger (humorist in the U.S.A.- Canadians are obsessed with that extra 'U') takes you through an entertaining and trip about travel. Have you ever naively tried to use reward points expecting to get a convenient free flight, taken a sightseeing tour with a guide who would rather be undergoing root canal, or spent ages at the airport arrival area watching that luggage carousel, with hope? Please read on. Poutine covers it all, from airlines to trains, tipping and toilets. It also discusses the last letter of the alphabet, 'zed' (in Canada eh?)


    Format: ePUB
    Kopierschutz: none
    Seitenzahl: 210
    Erscheinungsdatum: 31.10.2017
    Sprache: Englisch
    ISBN: 9780995950115
    Verlag: BookBaby
    Größe: 409 kBytes
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Poutine On the Orient Express

CHAPTER TWO Planes: Up, Up, and Away FEAR OF FLYING? AIRPLANES DON'T FLY Some people never get off the ground because they are afraid of flying. As far as they are concerned, airplanes should not be able to fly. Many of us do take the plunge or, to sound more upbeat, the rise, but with trepidation. I like to check out the pilots as I board the aircraft. I take a quick glance to my left into the cockpit, and if at least one of them isn't scratching his head or looking under her seat, I am good to go. On cold winter days the aircraft usually taxis over a couple of airport blocks to get its wings de-iced. A creepy-looking monster-like machine approaches the airplane and squirts it with a greenish liquid. I don't know whether or not that de-ices the wings, but I have little doubt that after the procedure is over the aircraft will have been exorcised. There are all sorts of theories about how to help the fearful deal with their problem. One of the following gurus should surely make any flying phobia disappear (into thin air, of course). The Statistician Firstly, there is the statistician. This guy can overcome a person's flying phobia by spouting a string of statistics. He'll say something like, "Did you know that there is a greater chance of getting kidnapped by a gorilla on Times Square than there is of an airliner crashing?" After hearing him out, you can now surely nod your head in agreement and say, "You know, Wilbur, I never thought about it that way. Put in this light, I feel a lot better. What am I waiting for? Get me into the website for Air Canada." The Psychologist Secondly, if you are not a numbers person, then perhaps the psychologist can help you. He dispenses advice such as, "Hey, it's all in your head. Be happy. Don't worry. Just go aboard and have a drink." As far as this type is concerned, there is no way a plane can crash once you down a couple of shots of scotch. The psychologist will tell you that the best way to overcome your fear of flying is to actually fly, because when you fly you will be so afraid that even your fear will be scared and you will overcome it. I can't say this approach works or not. At least whatever happens, you'll be giggling. The Philosopher Finally, if you are more metaphysical about these matters, no doubt the philosopher can help you beat the willies. We've all heard this Aristotle speak. "Hey, when your number is up, your number is up. There is nothing you can do about it anyway. In any event, what is life? What is death? The same thing. Even if the plane goes down, your soul still survives." Doesn't that make you feel better already? I actually have some misgivings about this expert. At least the statistician tries to assure you that your fears are unfounded, and the psychologist tells you how to get rid of them while enjoying yourself to boot. But the philosopher basically tells you, if you do crash, so what. It's good for you. Pick your remedy. I know it's not easy understanding how a large hunk of metal weighing 70 zillion tons fully loaded can take off and remain in the air for hours. I weigh only about 72 kilograms, and I've tried jumping off a chair and flapping my hands, but I have never yet taken off. Flying still baffles me. I do hope, however, that at least one of the above three expert theories will alleviate any traveller who has flying anxiety. After all, just about all flights do arrive at their intended destination with their passengers intact. (Cave

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