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The Wit of Women von Sanborn, Kate (eBook)

  • Verlag: Seltzer Books
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The Wit of Women

Humor collection first published in 1885. According to Wikipedia: 'Katherine Abbott Sanborn (11 July 1839 - 9 July 1917) was an American author, teacher and lecturer. She was born in Hanover, New Hampshire, the daughter of educator Edwin David Sanborn and his wife Mary Ann. She taught English literature in several places, and was a professor at Smith College in that subject for several years, resigning in 1886 in order to follow literary pursuits in New York City. She lectured in public on literary history and allied subjects, and wrote on education. Her lecturing career began in the drawing room of her friend Anne Lynch Botta and later she gave talks for clubs and schools on current literature. For several years she was a newspaper correspondent in New York City. She also edited calendars and holiday books.'

Produktinformationen

    Format: ePUB
    Kopierschutz: AdobeDRM
    Seitenzahl: 426
    Sprache: Englisch
    ISBN: 9781455328567
    Verlag: Seltzer Books
    Größe: 426 kBytes
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The Wit of Women

CHAPTER VIII. HUMOROUS POEMS.

I will next group a score of poems and doggerel rhymes with their various degrees of humor.

THE FIRST NEEDLE.

BY LUCRETIA P. HALE.

"Have you heard the new invention, my dears,

That a man has invented?" said she.

"It's a stick with an eye

Through which you can tie

A thread so long, it acts like a thong,

And the men have such fun,

To see the thing run!

A firm, strong thread, through that eye at the head,

Is pulled over the edges most craftily,

And makes a beautiful seam to see!"

"What, instead of those wearisome thorns, my dear,

Those wearisome thorns?" cried they.

"The seam we pin

Driving them in,

But where are they by the end of the day,

With dancing, and jumping, and leaps by the sea?

For wintry weather

They won't hold together,

Seal-skins and bear-skins all dropping round

Off from our shoulders down to the ground.

The thorns, the tiresome thorns, will prick,

But none of them ever consented to stick!

Oh, won't the men let us this new thing use?

If we mend their clothes they can't refuse.

Ah, to sew up a seam for them to see--

What a treat, a delightful treat, 'twill be!"

"Yes, a nice thing, too, for the babies, my dears--

But, alas, there is but one!" cried she. "I saw them passing it round, and then

They said it was fit for only men!

What woman would know

How to make the thing go?

There was not a man so foolish to dream

That any woman could sew up a seam!"

Oh, then there was babbling and scrabbling, my dears! "At least they might let us do that!" cried they.

"Let them shout and fight

And kill bears all night;

We'll leave them their spears and hatchets of stone

If they'll give us this thing for our very own.

It will be like a joy above all we could scheme,

To sit up all night and sew such a seam."

"Beware! take care!" cried an aged old crone, "Take care what you promise," said she.

"At first 'twill be fun,

But, in the long run,

You'll wish you had let the thing be.

Through this stick with an eye

I look and espy

That for ages and ages you'll sit and you'll sew,

And longer and longer the seams will grow,

And you'll wish you never had asked to sew.

But naught that I say

Can keep back the day,

For the men will return to their hunting and rowing,

And leave to the women forever the sewing."

Ah, what are the words of an aged crone?

For all have left her muttering alone;

And the needle and thread that they got with such pains,

They forever must keep as dagger and chains.

THE FUNNY STORY.

BY JOSEPHINE POLLARD.

It was such a funny story! how I wish you could have heard it,

For it set us all a-laughing, from the little to the big; I'd really like to tell it, but I don't know how to word it,

Though it travels to the music of a very lively jig.

If Sally just began it, th

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