How to Win
Say goodbye to feelings of inadequacy – never again will you have to look on while someone else gets that promotion you wanted, wins the pitch you went for or beats you on the playing field. Bid farewell to that sense of jealously when someone else comes out on top, or that frustration when someone argues your socks off and leaves you defeated. Now you can be the winner. Psychologist and bestselling author Dr Rob Yeung will show you how to triumph when it really counts. How to gain the competitive advantage and come first more often. How to win arguments, negotiations, pitches, job interviews and more. Based on the latest research and proven psychological principles, Rob explains the science behind winning and how you can apply them to all facets of your life. If you're not winning, you're losing. Don't be a loser. Learn to win.
How to Win
Developing a Winning Outlook
Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile.
This chapter is all about attitude. So let's kick off by exploring your views about yourself. Of course, I'll explain everything shortly.
Below are a set of rating scales for different qualities and characteristics. Take a couple of moments to weigh the extent you believe each one is either an innate talent or something that can be developed, taught and honed.
For example, if you think that intelligence comes down entirely to a natural endowment - to the gifts that you are born with - then you'd give it a score of 1 out of 10. If you believe that intelligence is 100 per cent determined by hard work and effort, then you'd give it a score of 10 out of 10. Or if you consider that it's 50/50, then you'd give it a score of 5.
Want to give it a try?
The ability to tell jokes and make people laugh:
For as long as I can remember, I've been curious about human behaviour and what drives people. But training to become a psychologist has taken that inquisitiveness about folks to a whole new level. And now as a psychologist working mainly with businesses, it's my job to be able to size people up - to evaluate them and come to judgements about not only how good they are but also how far they'll progress in their careers.
Over the years, I've learnt that one of the biggest differentiators between winners and runners-up in life is their attitude. But to illustrate exactly how outlook can matter, let me tell you about a pair of managers I first met more than a half-decade ago, whom I'll call Anna and Matthew.
It's all in the mind
Organizations often ask me to rate the strengths and weaknesses of their managers. I've been working with one particular company, an international insurance company for quite some time now. The top bosses asked me to audit 45 of their most senior executives in the UK on a four-point scale of their potential. A "1" meant that the executive was a star with plenty of potential to take on bigger roles not just within the UK but also internationally; unfortunately, a "4" meant that the executive had probably been over-promoted and should be shuffled sideways into a less demanding role.
The assessment process began with all of the executives, including Anna and Matthew, filling out surveys asking them to rate their own strengths and failings across assorted categories of capabilities, such as "Inspiring people" and "Making business decisions". Next, at least six colleagues also filled out similar surveys to rate each executive. Finally, I met with each executive individually to discuss their scores, interview them about their leadership successes and failures, and ultimately decide what rating - on that four-point scale - I would give them in terms of their continuing potential.
I spent two hours with each executive. Matthew stood out for his confidence, charisma and unerring certainty about himself. A lanky figure with a broad smile and a crushing handshake, he was clearly someone who was used to making headlines. He received mainly complimentary comments from his colleagues, who said that he was a strong leader that they could turn to for guidance when they weren't sure what to do.
Sure, he had a few shortcomings, but didn't everyone? I told him about some of the occasional discrepancies between how he rated himself and how