"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"
- Albert Einstein
F eeling good about yourself vitally influences how others behave towards you. We're now talking about true behaviour, not the false facade some people seek out to support their illusion of friendship. There's a massive difference. If you build your structure with inferior material then its stability will be compromised and it'll be at greater risk of collapsing. A hollow wall that looks like a concrete supporting wall will not perform the same job, even though it looks like it would. Being false will trip you up in the end.
I remember a beautiful girl at University who was always surrounded by hundreds of friends and who seemed to be part of a very close-knit group. She was popular and always looked happy. Smiling and laughing the night away. After a while I got to know this girl and nothing could have been further from the truth. This was not one of those girls who suddenly blossomed at Uni, she had always been shining out of the crowd, and got the attention stunningly beautiful girls get. She never needed to work for attention, to develop her personality enabling her to have real conversations that form real friendships. Simply put she always had people queuing up to be her friend . By the time she got to Uni she had formed a set of rules for living that explained nothing about developing deep friendships. As it happened it wasn't till Uni she really needed true friends. When she did, there was no support for her and she was close to a nervous breakdown involving drugs and depression. When I spent time with her, I found she wanted to communicate but didn't know how. She was scared to talk about anything personal, to share and feel safe in who she was. She was wary people were insincere and fake. Finally, I helped her to see if she hid herself from people she would only attract towards her others who did the same. She couldn't just wait for her knight in shining armour to come rescue her. She had to be brave enough to be sincere first and then with that foundation of sincerity she could build her castle. I'm glad to say she recovered well and found herself a lovely sensitive fellow who allowed her to feel safe in being who she truly was.
What I realised was, in general, when people are very good looking, they don't need to develop advanced social skills as they'll receive interest simply by being pretty. They often, through no fault of their own, start to become arrogant and egotistical. They're more prone to develop superficial relationships because they're more inclined to be focusing upon superficial things, such as looks. They're also more likely to have friendships based upon a popularity competition to hang out with the best looking people. However when the crunch comes, any relationship based on superficial premises (such as looks) will not provide any deep support. This is far from a rule, just an observation. Life treats you differently depending upon whether the society you are in deems you attractive or not.
You might be reading this book thinking of someone you know like that, wishing you could be them, popular and happy. They often aren't happy and are typically insatiable in their quest to be accepted. This means no matter what they have, they will never feel satisfied. I know lots of people like this and it's truly sad to see. This entire journey of life is about learning to feel satisfied with life and your purpose. This doesn't mean you're going to sit on your ass and do nothing, it just means you can enjoy the journey. You can still push yourself to improve your life, but the trick is to understand, you can do this at the same time as feeling contented already.
You Are Already Perfect
First things first - Yo